Promises of Family Home Evenings

"We advise and urge the inauguration of a 'Home Evening' throughout the church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord. . . . 'Home Evening' should be devoted to prayer, singing hymns, songs, instrumental music, scripture-reading, family topics and specific instruction on the principles of the gospel, and on the ethical problems of life, as well as the duties and obligations of children to parents, the home, the Church, society and the nation. For the smaller children appropriate recitations, songs, stories and games may be introduced. Light refreshments of such a nature as may be largely prepared in the home might be served."

"If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them."

(First Presidency letter, 27 April 1915 — Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles W. Penrose)

Being Loving and Nurturing (LDS perspective)

Nurturing children with unconditional love is of utmost importance. President Gordon B. Hinckley (1997) admonished parents:

"Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God. . . . Love them, take care of them. Fathers, control your tempers. . . . Mothers, control your voices. . . . Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts" (p. 422).

Every child is entitled to grow up in an atmosphere of warmth, love, security, and companionship (Hinckley, 1997). Paul's counsel to the Ephesians still rings with wisdom for parents today: "Provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

As an apostle, Elder Hinckley (1978) said: "How fortunate, how blessed is the child who feels the affection of his parents. That warmth, that love will bear sweet fruit in the years that follow" (p. 18).

The expression of affection at home protects children as they seek love and acceptance outside the home, where some sources of love may be unhealthy. Elder Marlin K. Jensen (1999) taught, "If our children feel friendship within the family, with each other, and with parents, they will not be desperate for acceptance outside the family" (p. 64).

President Hinckley (1995) also has said: "I have tremendous respect for fathers and mothers who are nurturing their children in light and truth . . . who spare the rod and govern with love, who look upon their little ones as their most valued assets to be protected, trained, and blessed" (p. 70).

For more information about this article please visit the following web site
http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/being_loving_nurturing.aspx?&publication=lds

Being Loving and Nurturing

The Family: A Proclamation to the World  states: "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness."http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,FF.html

It's no accident that the Proclamation lists "love" first among parenting duties-nurturing love is the most important characteristic of good parenting. It's so important that researchers sometimes call it the "super-factor" of parenting. Good nurturing makes children feel loved and cherished, and researchers have found that without that feeling, there's little else parents can do to make up for it.

Urie Bronfenbrenner, a renowned expert on child development, says every child needs parents who are crazy about him or her-an "irrational relationship." Children are wired to "fall in love" with their parents, and they deserve parents who fall in love back.

Beyond the obvious benefits of nurturing love, research shows that loving and nurturing parenting is linked to better child behavior at all ages. Nurturing parents build strong bonds with their children, providing them with a sense of security that helps them grow into confident and loving people.

How can you be a more loving and nurturing parent? Here are some ideas:

§         Learn your child's love language. Each person feels love in a different way. A wise parent carefully studies how a child likes to receive love, and then sends love in that way often. Without this care, actions that a parent might think are loving can be perceived as unloving. For example, one mother came home from a long day at work, met her little boy at the front door, ruffled his hair, told him "I love you!" and walked to her room. He followed her and replied, "Mommy, I don't want you to love me, I want you to play catch with me!"

In another example, a father invited his teenaged son to hunt big game in Montana. The father thought the expedition together would be a great way to spend time with his son and show his love. But what the son really wanted from his father was less dramatic - he just wanted his dad to go with him occasionally to a nearby reservoir and watch the ducks take off.

How can parents learn their child's love language? One way, according to parent educator Wally Goddard at the University of Arkansas, is simply to notice ways you've already shown love that your child asks for more of. One father says his children love their outings with him one at a time. They frequently ask, "When are we going on our one-on-one?" His youngest daughter is emphatic about wanting to go swimming for their time together. By honoring her request, he shows his love for her in one of the ways she can best receive it.

You can also learn about your child's love language by noticing how she or he shows love, according to Goddard. Children often show love in the way they like to receive it. Or you might try recalling when you felt especially loved by someone and identify what that person did, then treat your child similarly.

You can also take the direct approach-ask your children what you do or say that helps them feel loved. Answers might include hugs, bedtime stories, one-on-one outings, midnight pancakes and conversation, playing a game together, or a special gift.

§        Have I told you lately… Keep a record of your loving actions toward your child. Write his or her name at the top of a 3x5 card, then write the following questions and answer them:

      
      What have I done lately that really helped Katy feel loved?

      
      How does Katy prefer to receive messages of love?

What are some different ways I can send messages that communicate love to Katy in ways she can best feel it?

      
       What will I do this week to show Katy my love?

§         Speak kindly to your children. Compliment their good behavior. Say "please" and "thank you." Don't say anything demeaning or sarcastic. Even good-humored sarcasm is easily misunderstood by children and can result in unintended hurt feelings. Instead of saying "Can't you leave the dog alone?" say, "Please leave the dog alone." Instead of saying, "Will you get out of my way?" say, "Excuse me, I need to get by."

 

§         Express appreciation. Tell your children how much you appreciate them. Draw attention to their talents and good behaviors: "The table looks great! Thank you for setting it so nicely." Or "I can always count on you to help me out. Thanks."

§         Write love notes. Write short notes of love and encouragement. Slip them into your children's lunchboxes or backpacks. Examples include:

      Thanks for helping your sister clean up her room.

      That was a good idea you had for our family vacation.

      You're special to me.

Will you come with me to the store when you get home from school? I enjoy having you with me.

§         Remember the power of touch. Don't hesitate to give your child a loving hug, comforting hand-squeeze, or congratulatory pat on the back.

§         Be a friend. Spend time playing with your children and doing things with them that they enjoy. If you need to, schedule time with your children in your planner: "8 pm: Read stories with Rachel," "2 pm: Go biking with John."

§         Declare a love week. Have everyone in your family write down (or draw) what makes them feel loved. Maybe your first-grader feels loved when you read to him. Maybe your teenage daughter feels loved when you go with her to the library. Post the ideas in the house where everyone will see them. Then, every day for the next week, encourage each family member to do something for another family member that helps them feel loved. Even very small efforts can yield big results.

For more information about this article please visit the following web site

http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/being_loving_nurturing.aspx?&publication=short

Homes are more permanent through love

"Homes are more permanent through love. Oh, then, let love abound. Though you fall short in some material matters, study and work and pray to hold your children’s love. Establish and maintain your family hours always. Stay close to your children. Pray, play, work, and worship together."(President David O. McKay, 1968)

How do you protect your children from the worlds influences?

In these days it's becoming more difficult to help our families to be strong and loving. So many families are breaking up. So many children are lost. There is so much hatred and sorrow in the world and it's creeping into the home and family.

What can you do to make a difference in your families life? How can you help them? How do you protect your children from the worlds influences?

We are Latter Day Saints. To help build our family strong once a week our family has Family Home Evening, . "Family home evening is a special time set aside each week that brings family members together and strengthens their love for each other, helps them draw closer to Heavenly Father, and encourages them to live righteously." http://www.lds.org/hf/fhe/welcome/0,16785,4210-1,00.html

For an easy to follow Family Home Evening Planner/Template go to the following web site. This web site will also give you some great ideas for your family home evenings. http://www.lds.org/hf/fhe/planner/0,16809,4234-1,00.html

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
© 1995, 2008 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. English approval: 5/08. 35602

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

To view this article go to the following web site

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=e1fa5f74db46c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=1aba862384d20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____