Spending Time Together

Time is one of the most valuable quantities that we have, so we should use it wisely with the ones that we love. You don't need to spend tons of money to show your family that you love them. They will know by the way you treat them and the time that you spend with them.

Here are some inexpensive activities that you could do with your family;
1. Go for a walk
2. Go to a museum
3. Listen to live music or a lecture at a book store
4. Attend the local high school's musical
5. Fly a kite
6. Have a picnic
7. Go to the playground
8. Go to the library and pick a book on an activity that your children are interested in and do it together
9. Crafts
10. Play charades
11. Play a board game
12. Get a movie from the library and watch it together

Reasoning with Children

31106, Family Home Evening Resource Book, Building a Strong Family, Reasoning with Children, 244

Observe what happens when a father reasons with children—even when they aren't his own:

John's Concern

Two days before John was to return to his military assignment, a construction crew began digging a large hole in the empty lot north of his home. By the end of the day, a fifteen-foot hole lay ready for cement forms to be placed. Within minutes after the crew left, neighborhood children swarmed on the "diggings." Teenagers were running, and smaller children were climbing, as well as some preschool boys playing with a toy wheelbarrow. Among those little ones was John's four-year-old son, Jason. They were trying to dump a little gravel from the wheelbarrow into the large hole, but the earth beneath their feet was crumbling. Seeing this, John raced out on his balcony and yelled, "Get off that lot, you kids! What do you think you are doing?" The children all scattered, and John went down to bring the little ones away from the hole and into his backyard.

Within minutes after he returned to his house, John saw all the children swarming over the lot and dirt pile again. His little boy's friends were there. "A lot of good my yelling did," thought John. "Maybe I could reason with them so they see the danger in playing there." John walked outside and beckoned to the older children on the dirt pile. Some of the older ones hesitated, but John encouraged them with a wave of his hand. "Listen," he said. "I was kind of nutty to yell at all of you a minute ago. I guess in one way it is none of my business where you kids play. But my concern is that the little ones see you over here and they come over. If you fall, maybe you will break an arm or get bruised, but I'm worried about what might happen to the little ones if they fall. What happens if a lot of that dirt caves in on them? If you play on the hills, they play on the hills. Do you see any way we can work together to protect them?"

What is the difference between John's first approach and his second?

What was he teaching?

What do you predict will be the teenagers' response?

In the actual situation, the teenagers began policing the lot, kept the little children away, and even avoided the construction site themselves.

Do you reason with your children? or do you command them? Read the comparisons to help you evaluate whether your children understand why they should be obedient or if they are merely learning that you use power over them.

Reasoning	Commands and Demands
1. Are you teaching a principle?	1. Are you issuing orders?
2. Are you reasoning sensibly and calmly?	2. Are you blaming and accusing?
3. Are you exploring consequences?	3. Are you making decisions single-handedly?
4. Are you identifying wise alternatives?	4. Are you allowing only one possibility?
5. Are you sharing necessary information?	5. Are you demanding blind obedience?
6. Are you listening?	6. Are you doing all the talking?

It is important to remember that reasoning involves persuasion, long-suffering, and love unfeigned (see D&C 121:4146).

To read the entire article and get more helpful information go to the following link
http://www.lds.org/hf/library/0,16866,4256-1,00.html?LibraryURL=/Curriculum/home%20and%20family.htm/family%20home%20evening%20resource%20book.htm/building%20a%20strong%20family.htm/reasoning%20with%20children.htm

Being Loving and Nurturing (LDS perspective)

Nurturing children with unconditional love is of utmost importance. President Gordon B. Hinckley (1997) admonished parents:

"Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God. . . . Love them, take care of them. Fathers, control your tempers. . . . Mothers, control your voices. . . . Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts" (p. 422).

Every child is entitled to grow up in an atmosphere of warmth, love, security, and companionship (Hinckley, 1997). Paul's counsel to the Ephesians still rings with wisdom for parents today: "Provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

As an apostle, Elder Hinckley (1978) said: "How fortunate, how blessed is the child who feels the affection of his parents. That warmth, that love will bear sweet fruit in the years that follow" (p. 18).

The expression of affection at home protects children as they seek love and acceptance outside the home, where some sources of love may be unhealthy. Elder Marlin K. Jensen (1999) taught, "If our children feel friendship within the family, with each other, and with parents, they will not be desperate for acceptance outside the family" (p. 64).

President Hinckley (1995) also has said: "I have tremendous respect for fathers and mothers who are nurturing their children in light and truth . . . who spare the rod and govern with love, who look upon their little ones as their most valued assets to be protected, trained, and blessed" (p. 70).

For more information about this article please visit the following web site
http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/being_loving_nurturing.aspx?&publication=lds

Being Loving and Nurturing

The Family: A Proclamation to the World  states: "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness."http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,FF.html

It's no accident that the Proclamation lists "love" first among parenting duties-nurturing love is the most important characteristic of good parenting. It's so important that researchers sometimes call it the "super-factor" of parenting. Good nurturing makes children feel loved and cherished, and researchers have found that without that feeling, there's little else parents can do to make up for it.

Urie Bronfenbrenner, a renowned expert on child development, says every child needs parents who are crazy about him or her-an "irrational relationship." Children are wired to "fall in love" with their parents, and they deserve parents who fall in love back.

Beyond the obvious benefits of nurturing love, research shows that loving and nurturing parenting is linked to better child behavior at all ages. Nurturing parents build strong bonds with their children, providing them with a sense of security that helps them grow into confident and loving people.

How can you be a more loving and nurturing parent? Here are some ideas:

§         Learn your child's love language. Each person feels love in a different way. A wise parent carefully studies how a child likes to receive love, and then sends love in that way often. Without this care, actions that a parent might think are loving can be perceived as unloving. For example, one mother came home from a long day at work, met her little boy at the front door, ruffled his hair, told him "I love you!" and walked to her room. He followed her and replied, "Mommy, I don't want you to love me, I want you to play catch with me!"

In another example, a father invited his teenaged son to hunt big game in Montana. The father thought the expedition together would be a great way to spend time with his son and show his love. But what the son really wanted from his father was less dramatic - he just wanted his dad to go with him occasionally to a nearby reservoir and watch the ducks take off.

How can parents learn their child's love language? One way, according to parent educator Wally Goddard at the University of Arkansas, is simply to notice ways you've already shown love that your child asks for more of. One father says his children love their outings with him one at a time. They frequently ask, "When are we going on our one-on-one?" His youngest daughter is emphatic about wanting to go swimming for their time together. By honoring her request, he shows his love for her in one of the ways she can best receive it.

You can also learn about your child's love language by noticing how she or he shows love, according to Goddard. Children often show love in the way they like to receive it. Or you might try recalling when you felt especially loved by someone and identify what that person did, then treat your child similarly.

You can also take the direct approach-ask your children what you do or say that helps them feel loved. Answers might include hugs, bedtime stories, one-on-one outings, midnight pancakes and conversation, playing a game together, or a special gift.

§        Have I told you lately… Keep a record of your loving actions toward your child. Write his or her name at the top of a 3x5 card, then write the following questions and answer them:

      
      What have I done lately that really helped Katy feel loved?

      
      How does Katy prefer to receive messages of love?

What are some different ways I can send messages that communicate love to Katy in ways she can best feel it?

      
       What will I do this week to show Katy my love?

§         Speak kindly to your children. Compliment their good behavior. Say "please" and "thank you." Don't say anything demeaning or sarcastic. Even good-humored sarcasm is easily misunderstood by children and can result in unintended hurt feelings. Instead of saying "Can't you leave the dog alone?" say, "Please leave the dog alone." Instead of saying, "Will you get out of my way?" say, "Excuse me, I need to get by."

 

§         Express appreciation. Tell your children how much you appreciate them. Draw attention to their talents and good behaviors: "The table looks great! Thank you for setting it so nicely." Or "I can always count on you to help me out. Thanks."

§         Write love notes. Write short notes of love and encouragement. Slip them into your children's lunchboxes or backpacks. Examples include:

      Thanks for helping your sister clean up her room.

      That was a good idea you had for our family vacation.

      You're special to me.

Will you come with me to the store when you get home from school? I enjoy having you with me.

§         Remember the power of touch. Don't hesitate to give your child a loving hug, comforting hand-squeeze, or congratulatory pat on the back.

§         Be a friend. Spend time playing with your children and doing things with them that they enjoy. If you need to, schedule time with your children in your planner: "8 pm: Read stories with Rachel," "2 pm: Go biking with John."

§         Declare a love week. Have everyone in your family write down (or draw) what makes them feel loved. Maybe your first-grader feels loved when you read to him. Maybe your teenage daughter feels loved when you go with her to the library. Post the ideas in the house where everyone will see them. Then, every day for the next week, encourage each family member to do something for another family member that helps them feel loved. Even very small efforts can yield big results.

For more information about this article please visit the following web site

http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xml/articles/being_loving_nurturing.aspx?&publication=short