Reasoning with Children

31106, Family Home Evening Resource Book, Building a Strong Family, Reasoning with Children, 244

Observe what happens when a father reasons with children—even when they aren't his own:

John's Concern

Two days before John was to return to his military assignment, a construction crew began digging a large hole in the empty lot north of his home. By the end of the day, a fifteen-foot hole lay ready for cement forms to be placed. Within minutes after the crew left, neighborhood children swarmed on the "diggings." Teenagers were running, and smaller children were climbing, as well as some preschool boys playing with a toy wheelbarrow. Among those little ones was John's four-year-old son, Jason. They were trying to dump a little gravel from the wheelbarrow into the large hole, but the earth beneath their feet was crumbling. Seeing this, John raced out on his balcony and yelled, "Get off that lot, you kids! What do you think you are doing?" The children all scattered, and John went down to bring the little ones away from the hole and into his backyard.

Within minutes after he returned to his house, John saw all the children swarming over the lot and dirt pile again. His little boy's friends were there. "A lot of good my yelling did," thought John. "Maybe I could reason with them so they see the danger in playing there." John walked outside and beckoned to the older children on the dirt pile. Some of the older ones hesitated, but John encouraged them with a wave of his hand. "Listen," he said. "I was kind of nutty to yell at all of you a minute ago. I guess in one way it is none of my business where you kids play. But my concern is that the little ones see you over here and they come over. If you fall, maybe you will break an arm or get bruised, but I'm worried about what might happen to the little ones if they fall. What happens if a lot of that dirt caves in on them? If you play on the hills, they play on the hills. Do you see any way we can work together to protect them?"

What is the difference between John's first approach and his second?

What was he teaching?

What do you predict will be the teenagers' response?

In the actual situation, the teenagers began policing the lot, kept the little children away, and even avoided the construction site themselves.

Do you reason with your children? or do you command them? Read the comparisons to help you evaluate whether your children understand why they should be obedient or if they are merely learning that you use power over them.

Reasoning	Commands and Demands
1. Are you teaching a principle?	1. Are you issuing orders?
2. Are you reasoning sensibly and calmly?	2. Are you blaming and accusing?
3. Are you exploring consequences?	3. Are you making decisions single-handedly?
4. Are you identifying wise alternatives?	4. Are you allowing only one possibility?
5. Are you sharing necessary information?	5. Are you demanding blind obedience?
6. Are you listening?	6. Are you doing all the talking?

It is important to remember that reasoning involves persuasion, long-suffering, and love unfeigned (see D&C 121:4146).

To read the entire article and get more helpful information go to the following link
http://www.lds.org/hf/library/0,16866,4256-1,00.html?LibraryURL=/Curriculum/home%20and%20family.htm/family%20home%20evening%20resource%20book.htm/building%20a%20strong%20family.htm/reasoning%20with%20children.htm

"their fears will subside"

"As we look into the eyes of our children and grandchildren, we see the doubt and fear of our times. Wherever these precious ones go in the world, they hear about unemployment, poverty, war, immorality, and crime. They wonder, 'How can we cope with these problems?'

To find answers, they look back into our eyes and listen to our words. Do they hear us speaking faithfully and hopefully, despite the tribulations of our times?

They need to see us continuing to pray and study the scriptures together, to hold family home evening and family councils, to serve faithfully in our Church callings, to attend the temple regularly, and to be obedient to our covenants. When they see our steadfastness in keeping the commandments, their fears will subside and their confidence in the Lord will increase."

Elder Robert D. Hales
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

To read the entire article go to the following link

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=0b3dee9ba42fe010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

Promises of Family Home Evenings

"We advise and urge the inauguration of a 'Home Evening' throughout the church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord. . . . 'Home Evening' should be devoted to prayer, singing hymns, songs, instrumental music, scripture-reading, family topics and specific instruction on the principles of the gospel, and on the ethical problems of life, as well as the duties and obligations of children to parents, the home, the Church, society and the nation. For the smaller children appropriate recitations, songs, stories and games may be introduced. Light refreshments of such a nature as may be largely prepared in the home might be served."

"If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them."

(First Presidency letter, 27 April 1915 — Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles W. Penrose)

Homes are more permanent through love

"Homes are more permanent through love. Oh, then, let love abound. Though you fall short in some material matters, study and work and pray to hold your children’s love. Establish and maintain your family hours always. Stay close to your children. Pray, play, work, and worship together."(President David O. McKay, 1968)

How do you protect your children from the worlds influences?

In these days it's becoming more difficult to help our families to be strong and loving. So many families are breaking up. So many children are lost. There is so much hatred and sorrow in the world and it's creeping into the home and family.

What can you do to make a difference in your families life? How can you help them? How do you protect your children from the worlds influences?

We are Latter Day Saints. To help build our family strong once a week our family has Family Home Evening, . "Family home evening is a special time set aside each week that brings family members together and strengthens their love for each other, helps them draw closer to Heavenly Father, and encourages them to live righteously." http://www.lds.org/hf/fhe/welcome/0,16785,4210-1,00.html

For an easy to follow Family Home Evening Planner/Template go to the following web site. This web site will also give you some great ideas for your family home evenings. http://www.lds.org/hf/fhe/planner/0,16809,4234-1,00.html